1.12.20

Entry 06

R E F L E C T I O N

For a darker time, when I felt my mind wander from my soul a while.

The party stage.

The I don’t care, the world is my playground stage.

The I know everything there is to know right now stage.

The naive mind, running perplexed through a brand new jungle.

How was I to know that this jungle had vines that would entangle their way around my mind and soul for months to come? How was I to know that one round small friend would turn to many more and become my worst enemy?

I could blame the world around me, the place that I grew up, the people I was introduced to. I won’t. I may not have been aligned with myself but I made the decisions I did. I deserved to treat my body, mind and soul better at a raw 18, blind to all the troubles to come for me.

I am who I am because of all I have been through but god do you find yourself wishing sometimes that those parts, that come from months of tearing away from everything good for you, would disappear.

Fun times, stories to tell. Some parts just will not be worthy of it though.

Gratitude for experiences, lessons and fuck loads of growth.

Here I am, a strengthened mind reflecting on decisions with no regrets but a message to be shared.

It’s not worth it